Birdland (2018) Reviews

• Boring.

  proof_lady2018-07-08

  Don't even now where to begin. I wanted to turn it off on so many occasions, but my philosophy is that one cannot rate or comment on something if it hasn't seen until the end, so I endured. The movie is only one hour and a half long but to me it seems like I've spent the whole year watching it. The acting is nothing exceptional, the script is terribly boring, and I only gave this movie a 2 because of a decent visuals. Seriously, save yourself a year of your life because this is how long this movie is.

• Fifty Shades of Dead Gray Birds ...

  fstclairejm2018-06-09

  ... or more aptly what lands on you if you stood under them before their death. If Trump is seriously considering tariffs against Canada, he should consider imposing them on films of this ilk produced in Canada for the tax credits or at least prohibit the cast and crew from returning to the States!). Where to begin? In order of priority (although they should all really tie for first place): 1. Bad acting, uniformly throughout the cast. Indeed, the mounted dead birds should be billed as the stars of this farce. 2. Poorly scripted loaded with overused tropes too numerous to enumerate, stilted dialogue (delivered appropriately by the disasterous cast) and semi-ridiculous "plot." This makes daytime soaps look interesting. 3. Amateurish "soundtrack" apparently created on some kid's abandoned synthesizer (necessary to alert the viewer that the scene is supposed to be "suspenseful"). Canned laughter might have been more appropriate. 4. Stilted pseudo philosophical-environmental dialogue sequences that are beyond absurd and do more to destroy the environment by creating a new "wasteland" 5. Interjections of soft porn bondage that lead to nowhere. 6. Attempts at "witty" dialogue that is, instead, only halfwitted. On a positive note, the photography is decently shot and the jump cuts in postproduction are okay but I would suggest the DP and the Editor seriously consider changing their names so this albatross will not be associated with them. I saw this on Amazon Prime Video. There is nothing "prime" about this. It's more like an over-cooked goose that should rate a goose egg instead of a charitable "1". It's truly one for the birds.