Christian Mingle (2014) Reviews

• Can't even market a website subtly, let alone depict anything in the way of believable intimacy

  StevePulaski2015-01-27

  Christian Mingle: The Movie is so brazenly artificial and inauthentic that it almost begs to be ignored; not reviewed, not analyzed, and not even discussed, just quietly, humbly passed by as other films nudge it out of the limelight and into obscurity. Criticized in the past were films like Jobs and The LEGO Movie, for allegedly being nothing more than product placement for Apple and LEGO, respectively, despite bearing actual story lines, characters, and thematic depth; on the other hand, Christian Mingle: The Movie is a film so deeply-rooted in insincerity, it disrespects its actors by giving them shallow human characters with not a shred of humanity to be found all in the means of promoting an already ubiquitous dating website. Lord have some mercy. The film focuses on Gwyneth Hayden (Lacey Chabert), a well-off woman who has worked her way to the top of the corporate ladder, and rather showing the more interesting story at hand here - Gwyneth's clear business success in what looks to be a male-dominated feel - we explore her dating life, or lack thereof. Gwyneth fears the clock is ticking faster and faster, as she's approaching middle-age and spends holiday after holiday alone, only meriting a handful of poor, short-term relationships in her life. After catching its cloying and persistent ads on Television, Gwyneth, despite being a non-practicing Christian, with little knowledge of The Bible and the story of Jesus Christ, signs up for the dating website Christian Mingle, where devout Christians can meet like-minded believers and hopefully find happiness on their way to eternal bliss. In an act contributing to the new era of "click, meet, marry, die, done," so coined by Gwyneth herself, Gwyneth agrees to meet Paul Wood (Jonathan Patrick Moore), a loyal, good-natured Christian man who clings to his beliefs with his clean and equally good-natured family. Gwyneth admires Paul's niceness and genuine charisma, leading her to try and put on a Christian act to fool Paul and his family that she is a practicing Christian. Gwyneth's methods are appallingly, obviously fake, but Paul's vision seems to be too clouded by the glow of his halo to notice. The two carry out a picturesque relationship together, so long as the conversation steers away from anything remotely biblical, or else Gwyneth turns into a babbling, tongue-tied idiot. It's impossible to appreciate Gwyneth and Paul as people because they never emerge as more than anything but ridiculous, cardboard cutouts for the length of the entire film. Writer/director Corbin Bernsen seems keen on making this film as cloyingly fake as possible, never offering any sort of real conversation between these characters nor allowing them to grow to be more than wooden caricatures programmed to spout perfunctory dialog and unsubtle website promotions. The only thing more miserable than the romanticism in the film is the abundance of corny jokes, which are so painfully unfunny I can't bring myself to reiterate their stupidity in my review. The less said about them, the better. There's not an ounce of sincerity in the way the dramatic scenes of the film are handed; typical for low-budget, independent Christian films, there's always overly obvious orchestration or explosive Christian rock thrown in to assure you laugh and smile at the right times and cry at the appropriate moments. Christian Mingle functions with the latter, throwing in catchy but terribly overwrought and unsubtle Christian rock ballads that do nothing but make an already fake, insincere film more phony and insincere. To those who think the love in Christian Mingle: The Movie depicts anything close to the kind of love or passion found in real life, I got news for you, it can barely market a dating website in a believable manner, let alone begin to understand or depict anything in the way of genuine intimacy. Starring: Lacey Chabert and Jonathan Patrick Moore. Directed by: Corbin Bernsen.

• At least get your scripture references correct...

  ashleyannethornhill2016-06-05

  I sat down to watch this movie thinking it would be a little cheesy, but overall produce a feel good emotion by the end of it. However, throughout the entire movie I cringed at how awkward they made Christianity seem to the public eye. I felt that Christians were portrayed as awkward and exclusive in this movie. The amount of times the family said "Praise God" was embarrassing. Also, the final straw of my aversion toward this movie came during the mission trip scene when the scripture in James is misquoted. James 1:7- 8 is the incorrect passage, it should be James 1:2-3. I will never suggest this movie to anyone unless they want to spend two hours mocking the screen.

• A concept with potential. Horribly executed.

  mtrublu-92-3083542018-02-07

  Sadly, only the main character, Gwyneth, was played by an actor with any real chops. How is it that a supposedly faith-based production company can't even get Christians right? Nearly every Christian in the film was portrayed as a one-dimensional cardboard cutout of the secular stereotype. These characters had no humor. They were judgemental and flat out boring. They all came across very cultish. As one who came to Christ as an adult, I can honestly say it may never have happened if the Christians I'd encountered were like those portrayed here.

• Offensive, Anti-Christian and Racist

  epiexoto2016-12-26

  How can I explain how bad this movie is? The entire time I am hoping that Gwenyth will meet a fabulous guy as well as find Christ. And yes, it is possible! It is also possible to be a good person when you are not a "believer" or a certain type of Christian. I could not believe how judgmental all of the Christians depicted in this movie were toward Gwenyth. Instead of welcoming her to the beginning of her journey with Christ, they were testing her knowledge of bible verses, judging her clothes, and demanding she pray on command. As a Christian (Catholic) I was shocked at how rude, unwelcoming, and elitist they all were to her. That is not how Jesus would treat anyone, let alone someone who seeks Him and wants to grow closer to Him. When Paul "caught" Gwenyth in her slight exaggeration on her level of faith, he confronted her with no compassion or understanding. Why didn't he listen to her, and offer to support her search for Jesus? Gwenyth even asked Paul for his help, but he was too selfish, prideful, and judgmental to help. What a jerk! I was hoping she wouldn't end up with him, but would continue on her journey toward Christ without Paul. And the racist stereotypes of the Mexicans! The stereotypical costumes, bad accents, and Taco Bell set design was so distracting and unnecessary! Would it really be that much time/money to take a trip to Mexico and get some accurate specifications for a village down there? What a missed opportunity to show the reality of what they need in Mexico, possibly calling someone watching to take a mission down there one day (which I have, by the way, and it is nothing like what was portrayed). Even Gwenyth's work friend, Pam, who I at first thought was the most realistic depiction of a true Christian (spoiler alert! She's a Christian too!) ended up being judgemental too! When Gwenyth was telling her about how she was beginning to feel closer to Christ, she said, "Sweetie, you are not there yet." Who is Pam to judge anyone's journey? And isn't life about this journey? Are any of us ever really "there" until we get to Heaven? Sheesh! The only shining light was Lacey Chabert's performance. She is a great actor. I felt sorry for her to be stuck with such a poor script with such a despicable leading man. If this shows you anything, it's that the guys on Christian Mingle are all pompous, judgemental, mama's boys. Not all Christian guys are like that! Maybe try a different website. And DEFINITELY watch a different movie while you are at it!

• Typical

  antfitz2018-12-08

  Another in a long line of cornball Hallmark Christmas movies. Even their Hallmarks Hall of fame movies are no longer the great movies of the past.