Dinosaur Island (1994) Reviews

• REALLY stupid, but that's not always a bad thing

  Tito-81999-08-08

  This movie is so bad, that it's actually somewhat likable. This has everything that a bad movie should have, including horrible dialogue, laughable special effects, and women who were cast because of their cup sizes. But unlike many atrocious movies, this one didn't bore me, and I actually enjoyed a few scenes. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend it, but it does have a certain charm.

• Yes, one of 'those' movies.

  StlBlade1999-07-22

  The day after I saw this movie, I called my friend Cass in Florida and said "Cass, you have to see this movie." "It's that good?" "No, it's that bad!" There is no better way to describe this movie. It has the audacity to say 'Dinos genetically bred and trained by' instead of 'SFX by' in the credits, and has the only drunken redneck T-Rex in history. (Of course he is, just look at that pot-belly) I have to confess that I only rented the movie because it had Dinos and girls in leather bikinis, 2 things near and dear to my heart, but after about 20 minutes of watching, I actually put away my alcohol, turned off the computer game I was playing and restarted the movie so I could catch every last horrible, horrible detail. For those that like 'So bad it's good' movies as I do, then this is the ultimate 'must-see' movie. Steelblade

• One of the best soft-core B-movies of all time.

  Smooth B1999-10-25

  This movie is an ideal example of what viewers of straight-to-cable late night Skin-O-Max want to see....a wafer-thin plot, lots of boob action, and things exploding all over the place. It starts with four stranded army soldiers washing up on a seemingly deserted island. Soon they are surrounded by a group of warrior women and hauled off to the main village. They are given the choice of fighting the big dinosaur (the name escapes me right now) or death. While the older soldier (Ross Hagen) thinks up a strategy, the other 3 go off, perusing the all-female village. They stumble upon 3 lovely villagers, and of course pair off with them. The ladies don't have regular names so the guys invent some for them....right out of a men's magazine. Miss April (Antonia Dorian), Miss May (Griffen Drew, who look simply fabulous in this movie), and Miss June (Michelle Bauer). After that, the plot pretty much goes as expected: each soldier scores with their respective woman, kill the dinosaur, and have some more sex later. Even Ross Hagen's character gets some from the queen of the village! What an ending! It's a short, 80-something minute film which will leave you in stitches with how bad it really is. Truly a treat for those who watch Cinemax Late Night (commonly called Skin-O-Max).

• I admire this movie

  neil-4762011-05-04

  The late night movie channels, home of such vast quantities (and I do mean the last two syllables of the word "quantities") of tripe, beckon. And I find Dinosaur Island, courtesy of not just Jim Wynorsky, but also Fred Olen Ray. If you recognise those names, you will know exactly the sort of film we're in for. And it ain't good. A small group of military men crash land on a tropical-ish island. This island is inhabited by a) dinosaurs (hence the title), and b) attractive young women in fur bikinis. Conveniently, the number of young women is the same as the number of military men. A plot - I can't believe I have dignified it with the word "plot" - involves fighting the dinosaurs and having sex with the women. Let me say at the outset that this film isn't entirely without merit. There are actually some witty lines in the script here and there, Antonia Dorian is gorgeous in (and out of) her fur bikini, and there is a fairly large scale dinosaur model/puppet/suit which features. Less praiseworthy, but worth remarking on, are the presence of Michelle Bauer (overexposed in more ways than several, but still decorative) and Griffin Drew (including implants), and a small quantity of extremely bad stop-frame animation used to bring certain dinosaurs to, er, life. The big trick used here, though, is forced perspective. Thus, there is no need to finance a giant egg prop - you use a normal egg near the camera and have your actors 50 yards away point in the right direction to make it look as if they are pointing at the egg near the camera. Or they run away, as if chased by a dinosaur, while a small scale dinosaur close to the camera is manipulated to look as though it is chasing them. Of course, it helps if both the close and distant items are focused the same. And it helps as if the dinosaur model doesn't look as if you just bought it from a toy shop. And it helps if your models aren't grounded in normal sized (and scaled) foliage, thus making them look like the models they are. The cheap, tatty special effects are dreadful. The film as a whole is preposterous. And yet it has a cheesy good nature which makes it oddly appealing...

• Dinosaur Island: More than T&A, but not much

  Platypuschow2017-09-16

  With an old school fantasy artwork front cover I was drawn to Dinosaur Island even though I knew from experience this was likely to be not only a T&A film but also pretty darn bad. Regarding the T&A there is plenty, yet somehow someway it is not only tasteful but mostly directly related to the plot. Regarding the quality it's a mixed bag. The movie actually looks quite good, the location and costume design is solid but when the sfx come into the equation it all falls apart. I'm not saying the sfx are bad I'm saying they're awful. The dinosaurs are stop motion animation and looked at home back in the 60's so there is no excuse for a 1994 film. Yes the film isn't supposed to be taken seriously and is essentially a comedy but those sfx are beyond bad. Thankfully the script is okay and there are genuine laughs to be had, the whole movie reminded me of Cave Girl (1985) except Cave Girl didn't reach beyond its means and had far more of a charm. For what it is Dinosaur Island isn't bad but as a whole it's not something I could ever confidently recommend to anyone. The Good: Some decent efforts at humour Tasteful well done T&A scenes The Bad: SFX that were on point in the 60's Things I Learnt From This Movie: Trained military with automatic weapons will have no effect on a raging t-rex but a bunch of scantily clad girls with sticks will scare it off Boobs squeezing is the no.1 fighting technique for amazons The infamous beast of the cave is the offspring of a xenomorph and a muppet