Onechanbara: The Movie (2008) Reviews

• live action bikini cowgirl zombie killing! whats not to like?

  ajax_magnetoface2008-05-04

  Who doesn't love the vastly successful Japanese video game The Oneechanbara? You got a hot sexy bikini cowgirl killing zombies? Add some extra characters for each iteration of the game series and its gets even better. (Im sure the new Wii version makes slicing zombies heads off all the more physically exertive so as to stay in physical parity with the main character who seems quite fit. Now the plot of the video game is pretty slim to none, so the movie expands on this by adding SOME plot. Some back-story on the characters is good, as well as a motivation to kill zombies and why of course there ARE zombies running amok. But nowhere does anyone ever bother to mention why she is always wearing a bikini and cowboy hat. Perhaps there is a vague "Fistfull of Dollars"/"Galaxy Express 999" reference here, but still, for those of us probing the sartorial functions of Oneechanbara's battle dress, I guess we should just sit back and enjoy it without asking such pointless questions. The film action then is very much like the game action and therefore lots of fun. The fight scenes are the highlights and really shine. The pathos and drama are pretty standard but necessary. The whole picture tho is quite low budget and lacking any sort of quality acting talent. I believe the main actress was either a DVD pinup idol or a soft core porn star, so we'll just say she's got a good future if the movie turns franchise. Maybe they'll explain more in a sequel. In the meantime, hell, she's a hot zombie killing bikini girl! Take that Milla Jovovich!

• Bikini babes vs the zombies

  chaos-rampant2008-08-13

  This is probably another case of the description being better than the movie, but not for lack of trying. Chanbara Beauty is a video game adaptation of OneChanbara and another entry in the latest trend of Japanese over-the-top action/horror hybrids. If it's a win as a VG adaptation that has more to do with how low the likes of Uwe Boll and Paul WS Anderson have set the bar in the VG field than how inherently good Chanbara Beauty is. The plot is thinly stretched and silly, with various subplots filling in the backstory of the characters. Not that it matters really cos it's all about the bikini splatter here, right? Sure the movie delivers lots of katana splatter as dozens of zombie extras in crude makeup get hacked and slashed, but everything is so CGI heavy it takes some getting used to. The action scenes are reeking of video effects: CGI blood, gun flashes, smoke, fast forwards and all kinds of live action anime silly SFX. There's probably some wire work involved as well and the choreography and swordfighting is surprisingly decent. Chanbara Beauty is bursting apart in the seams but it's entertaining enough to warrant a view for exploitation hounds. If you can stomach the cheapo video SFX (which are becoming a staple in Japanese flicks lately), you'll probably have a good time, but not without a yawn or two in the middle. It plays like a less gory, less insane, less action-packed, less well-made version of The Machine Girl but if you want your fix of Japanese action/horror exploitation this one's OK I guess.

• Great Movie, for a fan!

  brettyler2009-09-27

  This movie can't be taken serious in any way at all, but it dosen't either. so the blood spatters on the screen, and the horrid effects, just make this film More enjoyable. The movie dosn't really follow the game, the sequel does though, but has an interesting plot, and can really be enjoyed. The actors do their job, and has some funny moments. It also had a part where my wife had cried so, this movie has a little bit of evreything. I can't wait for the sequel to be dubbed so i can watch it. So if your a fan, or someone wanting to watch bikini zombie slayer this movie is definitely for you.! 1 2 3 BIKINI ZOMBIE SLAYERS UNITE!

• Cute girl, swords and zombies - what else do you want?

  whirling-darkness2008-09-01

  Pacing, is the answer. This movie is terribly paced. This movie is essentially two movies in one. Zombie flick and family drama. It could probably work, but in this movie it doesn't. The setup is terribly corny and if it strikes you as odd, and strangely familiar, that a little group of people can take down a guy that supposedly has filled the world with zombies, you're not alone. That's not really giving away too much. There are a few predictable twists and turns you can see for yourself, but here's my list of what would have made this movie a little better: 1. Focus on either the family drama OR the zombie killing. Director/writer too inexperienced to handle both properly and the result is a messy concoction. 2. The main character wears a skimpy outfit. And to be fair, it's the main attraction of the movie. So, why isn't she showing it off more? I remarked to my friend that the movie would have been lots better if it was just her doing pole dancing for 30 minutes. Maybe with zombies :) 3. The final showdowns are too long and simply too boring. LOTS of action, to be sure, but you're bored watching them. Tighter editing and pacing would have helped some, but you really don't care about any of the characters due to poor development and pacing throughout the movie. 4. The characters in the movie are two dimensional, extremely so. Precious film time is wasted on many occasions and unfortunately that leaves less time to flesh out the leads. That includes the long winded flashback sequence that runs throughout the movie at intervals. There's more, but you'll see all that for yourself if you watch it. It's shot on video. While that in itself is not a problem, when everything else is amateurish, it makes you feel like you're watching something hacked together in a high school film lab. There's a lack of contrast throughout the movie that makes it drab and bland to look at. There are two high points of the movie. The first is the fight scenes. When they're good, they resemble something out of a violent video game. The fast action actually makes the rest of the movie pale in comparison. If only the whole movie could keep that high speed and action. The second high point is, again, her skimpy outfit. It fits a crazy universe, but it also underlines that the rest of the movie is underdeveloped. The movie deserves a 4 for being mildly entertaining, but add an extra star for the two high points.

• It maybe low but it ain't bad

  emperorone-12008-08-29

  Really people, should we do this the hard way? I am telling the truth. So what if its a Japanese movie? First let me compare this movie to the west. This week I saw Hellboy II and Onechanbara. I have seen too much western movies and its all the same. The heroes don't die, there is no sacrifice nor bloody and the bad guys always lose but not all western movies but most of them yes.Unlike Onechanbara is a great movie. Full of Wire-Fu Japanese Action. Similar to the game and full of zombies. The CGI effects are low but they managed to entertain the audience rather walking out or talking about the effects in the movie. The actors are good, the acting was passable and the zombies. Well, when did a zombie learn how to fight like kung fu warrior? Really people, give it a try. It would be better if you rent this movie. If you liked it, well add it in your collection. If not, return it to the store. But what about me? I loved it, so it deserves to be in my collection. I don't want to spoil the movie but there is some drama. Not strong, a bit sad. But the important thing is that I had fun watching it. Just like The Machine Girl, Wanted, The Dark Knight, Shamo, The Battle of Red Cliff, Three Kingdoms, Hellboy II and Chocoate. Can't wait for Geisha vs Ninjas, Tokyo Gore Police, Sasori, Shaolin Baba and Shaolin Girl.