Termination Man (1998) Reviews

• Super human B-movie sweetness

  Volstag2004-09-13

  Oh boy. This movie is pretty awesome -- as far as unintentionally hilarious B-movies go. Steve Railsback, veteran B-movie actor, dials in his best (read: worst) performance to date. So, Mr. Railsback plays the character of Dylan Pope -- a decrepit secret agent who has been "enhanced" by the wonders of Modern Technology. Our decrepit super agent can toss around terrorists like they were rag-dolls, he can run 10 miles in as many minutes, and, best of all, he can make passionate love to any woman unlucky enough to be partnered with him. Bad movie highlights: Even though Dylan Pope has been enhanced with super human powers, he spends a lot of time whining about how tired he is, and what a nuisance it is to walk around. Seriously, this guy can run 10 miles in 10 minutes, and he complains about how tired he is from walking? Priceless. Even though Dylan Pope is constantly hounded by terrorists, and other malcontents, he always has a poo-eating grin/smirk adorning his face. I honestly don't know what Railsback was thinking concerning his portrayal of this character. He's surrounded, and being shot at by terrorists, and he has this look of, "Golly this is fun stuff!" What!? Other sweet moments: the number of scenes contrived to get Delilah Shane (played by Athena Massey) topless. The script introduced, IIRC, at least 3 moments in which Delilah would have to change clothes. Our favorite was when the terrorist leader throws a party that featured, among other things, full Victorian regalia. He's a terrorist, living in the Balkans (?), and he feels the urge to throw period piece fete for no reason whatsoever? Again, the whole situation was concocted to get Delilah topless. And, of course, let's not forget the obligatory sex scene between Pope and Delilah. Imagine if you will: a moonlight meadow, next to an idyllic stream. A thin mist floats in the background, as 52 year old Railsback ponderously lies atop Massey -- their bodies writhing in a vaguely sexual manner. How erotic! Then there's the showdown between the nefarious terrorists and Dylan Pope. Guess who wins? Bad Movie Score: 7/10 Good Movie Score: 4/10

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• schmart film

  sinbad-91999-09-25

  This film is extremely poor in every manner, the special effects were probably done on an atari, e.g. laser scenes and miniature bombs, the acting is abysmal, an in my mind there wss no need for gratuitous sex scene half way through, i mean would u like to see a pizza face 50 year old man having sex with a woman half his age (who repaetedly changes her clothes in the back of a van without a van). it appears that the 50 year old star's grandad acted out the fight scenes due to the slow pace and all round crapness of it.

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• Larry and Steve

  Aristides-22007-03-27

  'Hello Steve, it's Larry.' 'Larry who?' 'Larry. Your agent!' 'Oh, sorry. Hadn't heard from you in a while.' 'Well, have you thought about the two offers I mentioned?' 'Uhhhh. Would you refresh my memory.?' 'Well, there's the Troma version of 9-11, 'Alladin and the Forty Mullahs'. You'd play.......' 'Forget it Larry. What was the other one again?' 'Its working title is 'Serbian Avenger' and you play the lead. A kind of super 007 but it has contemporary political significance. I know how important that is to you. It's a Corman-Woods-Slavicfilms production so it'll be shot in Bosnia.' 'Oh yeah, I remember now. I asked you to get me more money. Were you able to?' 'Yes. I've got you up to $500 a week. No medical coverage but there'll be a retired Bosnian War medic on the set except on Sunday.' 'Sunday! We're going to shoot on Sundays?' 'Well, to get you $500 I had to make a few concessions.' 'Yeah, like what else?' 'Uhhh, it's a seven day shooting schedule. But the picture is only a ten day shoot. A 16-hour flat. (Pause) You'll no longer have your own tent. Will have to share it with the sound mixer and his boom man. But I made the line producer swear that the guys will not be eating garlic' 'I guess I can live with that.' 'And you'll have to take a freighter from New York to Dubrovnik. But they'll send a taxi to pick you up there.' (Silence on the phone.) 'Look. It's going to be a first class production. The director got a Goovna Award last year for 'Kielbasy, Me and Dravnik' from the jury at the Second Annual Grzonik Film Festival'. 'Who else is in it. Is there a broad?' 'Best news for last! It's Athena Massey!' 'Athena Who?' 'Athena Massey! Athena continues to show her range and versatility as an actress with her two most recent films, 'Groin's Portal' and 'The Labial Monologue.' You'll love working with her. And they already told me they've reserved a fog machine for the tasteful and romantic dusk lovemaking scene they've planned along the beautiful Slobodan Creek .' 'Larry, does she, uhh, is she.....' "Steve, I knew you'd ask that. I made some inquiries and I've got it on good authority that she's got a set of tits on her that won't stop!' 'Well, o.k. I'll do it then.' 'Great. I'll get them to prepare a deal memo as soon as I get off the phone.' ' Great, see you soon.' 'See you.'

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• the worst/best film ever

  dai-the-flu-21999-09-16

  This film has possibly got the worst special effects i have ever seen. The laser scenes are the funniest, also watch as THE TERMINATION MAN throws the worlds tiniest bomb which is also completely invisible. The story is about a super human 50 year old who can run miles in seconds but has no other decent powers and his fight against 'russian terrorists'. The final fight scene which comprising the worst fight choreography ever seen in a crappy straight to video film is also a highpoint of this brilliant movie. This is a film which makes blair witch's budget seem massive and is the well deserved worst film of all time

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• Railsback's performance rivals Burt Reynolds at his most blatant uncaring,

  tarbosh220002014-09-03

  In the fight against Serbian terrorists, there's only one man who is capable enough to get the job done: the Terminator! Sorry, excuse our faux pas - Termination MAN, a bored, apathetic individual named Dylan Pope (Railsback). Apparently Pope has been endowed with special skills and abilities by the government, but they mainly consist of being able to run fast, which he never actually employs against the baddies. He teams up with contacts Delilah Shane (Massey) and Ted Marks (Lottimer) and travels to foreign lands in the war against an obese beardo named Yurdovich (Ilyin). While this supposed terrorist evildoer appears to be committing jihad against fruits, vegetables and exercise, and is all the more jolly for it, still he's the greatest threat this planet has ever seen, and truly only the blase Dylan "Termination Man" Pope can terminate the threat. But will he wake up in time to do it? Termination Man - which is not at all a ripoff title intended to confuse inattentive and distracted video store patrons - is certainly shelf-filler at said video stores, and is undoubtedly junky and wildly stupid. But the overall vibe of silliness carries much of the movie (but not all of it, unfortunately). Most of the dotty daftness that the movie projects is due to Steve Railsback, and thank goodness. Out of all the potential action stars (or unknowns) the filmmakers could have chosen, clearly their only choice was Railsback, who was born in 1945 and thus was around 53 years old at the time of filming. Perhaps they had seen his Private Wars (1993) of a few years previous, and figured they had to get him. His listless "performance" rivals Burt Reynolds at his most blatant uncaring, and this form of Railsback action, or Railsbacktion, was surely set to be the wave of the future. Especially in this movie, Railsback seems like he could be Ron Marchini's brother. We would love to know what he was thinking as he wandered his way through it. His utter lack of energy is a double-edged sword here. On the one hand, it's really funny. But on the other, it slows things down considerably, and it really hits home around an hour in, where things just drag. But on the whole, the film is filled with nonsense, from the gadgets that Termination Man, or TerMan, has, that were given to him by Cain (Farentino), who plays a gravelly-voiced version of Q from the James Bond movies. One of them is a camera. Its secret weapon: it flashes! Whoa! You get the idea. On top of that, there's mindless shooting, both near to, and far away from, fruit carts, and the fact that Delilah just can't resist TerMan's charmless charm. Well, for TerMan, it was either be a fearless/emotionless government agent, or a Wal-Mart greeter. And I hear the ladies love their friendly, helpful ways. Correct us if we're wrong, but the Corman factory has never produced a truly awesome and worthwhile action movie. But in the meantime while you're combing through his back catalog, if you're willing to laugh and not take it so seriously, Termination Man isn't that bad. But be forewarned of the slow moments.

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