Warrior Assassin (2013) Reviews

• Skip to the last 5 minutes to not feel completely fooled, but chances are big you will feel violated any way.

  chrichtonsworld2014-04-10

  There is something terribly wrong with this kungfu movie. As a parody it would have been extremely hilarious if not for the fact that the film is meant to be taken seriously. ( I have to add that the version I saw was dubbed in English. Dubbing for these kinds of movies always have been done poorly and this is no different. Now that being said, this does have no consequence of the way the film is edited and filmed). The way everything is filmed, edited and the way it looks and sounds screams low budget. It is almost like a throwback to those old Seventies and Eighties kungfu flicks where the hero was out for revenge after a relative was killed: " You killed my father, die you devil" "And I will use the crane style to do it". That was like the whole dialogue and then you were shown some incredible martial arts. However in this one it is all horrible. Here and there are some brilliant pieces of fighting which only lasts for seconds. It gets worse though. A famous martial artist / actor makes an appearance. Only for a few minutes. But in those few minutes he displays the best action that there is to be found in the whole damn movie. His skills puts all of the action seen before to shame. So who is this guy I speak of? Well, are you ready? (And before people are accusing me of spoiling. In this case I am doing you a service. If by some unfortunate accident you got a hold of this piece of crap then you can redeem yourself by skipping to the last five minutes to the moment where he makes his appearance). His name is Yuen Biao. Say what now? What is he doing in this awful feature? This is obviously a money thing. But why would he stoop so low? It makes no sense. So in the name of all that is holy. STAY CLEAR from this movie! Don't buy it, don't watch it, just ignore it for gods sake because honestly films like these should never ever be rewarded with any profit. This is one of those that you should not even watch when it is free. Is it that bad Chrichton? Yes it is!

• YOU ARE MY NEMESIS

  nogodnomasters2018-08-03

  A young man vows to avenge the death of his father, and few other people who get killed along the way. He teams up with one army then ends up in the army he is battling... In spite of all the fighting, the film bored me. The first thing you will notice in the 1970s style dubbing. The voices were terrible and the "whack-whack" every time two body parts hit is old and silly...but I guess it has to be there because it has always been there. Some minor anti-gravity fighting and 9 minutes from the end our hero who is a master fighter is training in a different fight form. One guy fights with a half dozen arrows through his lungs. In one chase scene it suddenly goes from night to day. A person gets shot in the back with an arrow and then has dried blood at the mouth. Three guys fight an army...one fighter at a time. You get the idea. This film is a throw back. 2 stars is generous.